did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
