Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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