A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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