Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
