i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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