I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
