So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
