I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
