oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
NoShamevember. You game?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
