I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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