so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
