can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
