Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
