I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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