So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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