Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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