Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
