oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
