can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
