Can i not drive my cunt home
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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