I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
this is an emotional support booty call
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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