I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
