Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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