I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm passing your future prison.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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