I got chris browned last night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
