I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
