is your mom at the bar?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
