bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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