New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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