You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
