considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize