Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize