She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want nice things and good sex
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
