Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
