my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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