I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
