Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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