I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize