Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
