Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
