and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
