Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Found your dick twin last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
