I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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