Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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