So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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