do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
