dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
