last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
