Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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