I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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