we're blogging at a bar
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she pinky promised me she was 18
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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