Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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