You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
