I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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