Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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