I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
