so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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