you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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