Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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