So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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