i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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