Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize