Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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