eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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