I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
