It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
